I usually try to write a post every two weeks or so and as I sit down to write this I’m not entirely sure where I going. Like many things it will have a beginning, middle and end but in the process of moving forward to some desired objective I’m not entirely sure how I’m going to get there and certainly no idea what I will say.
There is a part of me that’s says put it aside until inspiration strikes while another part says just persist and you’ll soon know what to do.
On a such a lovely day as this the part that says come back to it later is easy to listen to.
The last 2 sentences you’ve just read I’ve just gone back and inserted, before that I had already drafted something else where I began to talk about my clients, when something in my head said wait you need to acknowledge the part that likes to relax and the part that works.
This is what I had written:
I guess like many of the clients I see they know what they want, they have a sense of what they want to achieve (and for many they also are good at saying what they don’t want), but the ‘how to’ part mystifies them as they flail around grasping at something that is always out of reach.
Life would be so much easier for us if it came with directions or a road map.
So why did I stop and begin to go off in a different tangent? Perhaps, I’m just not that good at going directly from point A to B; maybe sometimes my brain likes to take a more scenic route.
Or, as I wrote about clients knowing what they want, knowing what they want to achieve, the part of me that wants to achieve relaxation and the part that wants to achieve a post almost said in unison ‘Hey what about us!!!’
Whether we want to admit it, or whether we are aware of it to begin with, we all have numerous parts co-existing. Sometimes that work harmoniously together, other times they are in conflict, while for some they feel intense pain and may be buried deep within, but combined they make us who we are.
For me today, I am certainly aware of the parts that wants to get stuff done and the one that wants to go out and enjoy doing something outdoors. Thankfully they are not in conflict. For the moment the relaxation part is content to take a backseat why the working part works on this post.
For many people when first introduced to Resource Therapy and they hear they are made up of parts many think it’s completely strange. I AM ME. I KNOW WHO I AM. I AM NOT A PERSON OF PARTS. I AM WHOLE.
But I ask to you pause for a moment and consider how many times have you perhaps caught yourself saying ‘a part of me…’ and then go into an explanation about why you have done something or perhaps refrained from doing something else.
Most people function quite well when their parts are working together but if parts are in conflict or parts have behaviours that negatively impact on person’s health and well being then serious problems can arise.
Consider this if you will, imagine a part obsessed with calorie counting and is highly critical of the part that perhaps wants to indulged in a treat.
The same could be said if a part is using mindless eating to distract from a problem or past pain and pays no mind to the part that says the food you are choosing is not good for you.
In these examples, there is no compromise, no negotiation. One part is controlling the activity and the other feels ignored their views not appreciated. If this is allowed to continue it is likely resentment and anger will build. Certainly this is not a healthy state to be in.
It should also be noted, parts can be impacted upon by the feelings associated with a past trauma which often stems from a childhood incident. The presence of such parts could lead to conditions such as low self esteem, anxiety, depression or addictions.
The aim of a Resource Therapist is to make this part realise the feelings associated with this event is not part of the the present. In safe and supportive environment, the negative feelings/emotions associated with the past can be released and this part can be returned to being a healthy, happy and relaxed state.
If parts are in conflict the therapist will negotiate an outcome whereby both parts can feel appreciated and valued for the role they play in a person’s life. Parts want to be liked and made to feel they are doing a good job.
With regards my relaxation and worker parts there was no conflict they are working together. The relaxation part is not sabotaging the worker as he writes. The relaxation part knows once the writing is completed he has a job to do – find something I can do to unwind outdoors. Then the writer part can fade into the background satisfied his task is done waiting to be called upon at a future time.
So I have almost reached the end without first knowing to write. I have a beginning, middle and now it’s time for the end.
As you read this consider your own life are there times you feel stuck and no clear way forward or feel parts of you are pulling you in different directions?
If this rings true for you why not call me today so we can arrange a time to meet so you can discover how Resource Therapy may be of benefit to you.